I hate Grief
God, it's the fucking worst. I know this is a sensitive topic because like, so many of us have lost people we were close to in the past year but I've been dealing with the waves and the emotional complexities that come after losing somebody you truly loved for a lot longer and... I'll be honest, there's no moving on. You can't just start over after somebody you cared for and spent your days with and revealed your secrets to and wholeheartedly believed in has died. There's no brand new start where you move to another city and forget all about them, at least there was not, for me. Grieving is messy, and irrational and painful and exhausting- but there's so much to learn from it. What nobody tells you is that it comes in waves. How you'll just be doing the dishes and suddenly be struck with this ache, this emptiness in your heart where you imagine the figure of them next to you, smiling- alive, in color, and poof they're gone the next moment and when...
